[menscouncil] Update from Kenji

[Kenji Yano]

Men,

It's been a month and a half since I got here at my mom's house in Japan
south of Tokyo.  My mom's conditions are unpredictable.  From time to time
her back hurts badly.  Today she is feeling fine.  Sometimes she sleeps 12
hours, sometimes she gets up very early.  I help her change diapers/clothes
multiple times a day, cook three meals, go grocery shopping, and do the
laundry almost every day.  In a matter of a week, she went from walking
with a cane to having difficulty sitting stably, standing up, and changing
positions in bed.  So, this week, I will discuss with my mom's care manager
about installing handles that she can grab onto as she walks to the
bathroom.  Maybe she needs a walker, too.  She can rent the equipment and
her insurance will cover 80% of the cost.  One of the challenges was what
to do with my mom using the gas stove when I was out.  I found a solution:
I found a valve on the outside gas meter.  I just turn the gas off to the
house when I go grocery shopping.

We applied to get her elderly care insurance coverage upgraded and the
city's welfare program recently interviewed my mom.  Depending on the
result she could qualify for more services.  We will know it in early
March.  My sister will be here -- she lives in the US -- in two weeks.  We
plan to sort out mainly the financial aspects of the issue.  We are hoping
to establish a trust to handle my mom's assets.  But if the notary public
office determines my mom isn't capable of understanding it, we will have to
go to court to assign a financial guardian.  My mom's MRI image showed that
her hippocampus was mainly affected.  The hippocampus keeps recent memories
whereas the cerebral cortex old memories.  My sister and I are hoping our
mom still understands it.

I have not been able to find time to do my things.  No social life so far.
No music life.  Last Sunday I had to cancel my first night out with a
friend because my mom was in pain in bed and I had to be with her.  The
loneliness feels real.  I joined the church's Zoom chalice circle starting
next week.  It's a Wednesday evening group but for me, it's a Thursday
morning meeting.  I got some information about local caregivers' support
groups from my mom's care manager.  I may contact them.

That's it from me.  I hope you are all doing well.  I will see you on the
24th.

Kenji
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