[menscouncil] Fwd: Men's Night Out

[Bob Dinan]

If you have a minute before the meeting tonight, please skim Dave
Borneman's excellent summary of what's taken place with the "Men's Night
Outs" this year.

He's indicated some ways that we, as the Men's Council, could support them.
I'm hoping that we can embrace this request. I will include this in the
agenda.

See you at 7,

Bob

---------- Forwarded message ---------
From: David Borneman <burnguy1 at gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Jul 29, 2024 at 1:08 PM
Subject: Re: Men's Night Out
To: Bob Dinan <bdinan83 at gmail.com>
Cc: Peter Mooney <pmooney at sfplaw.com>


Bob - Well, here's what I can tell you:

   - I restarted the "Men's Night Outs" back in January, on a whim, when I
   was feeling a need to reconnect with the guys and thought that would be an
   easy way to do it. Apparently a bunch of other guys felt that way too and
   we've had good turnout every time we've done it, with numbers ranging from
   (approximately) 14-23.
   - Pete was good enough to step up right away and offer to help organize
   the gatherings. That was a big help because I knew I'd have a hard time
   committing to a date during my spring burn season in March, April, and May,
   so Pete took the lead on those.
   - We've jumped around from location to location, and from night to
   night, trying different combinations. I'm not sure if that is desirable or
   not. Inevitably, whatever day of the week we choose will be a perennial
   conflict for some particular group of guys who have standing conflicts with
   those nights. So personally I like the idea of changing up the night so
   everybody can get there at least SOME of the time.
   - I'd prefer to find one location that we can always use, just so guys
   are less likely to get confused on that aspect of it. But finding that one
   perfect spot has been difficult. A few reflections on that:
      - Wed. Jan. 10 - we met at Wolverine with 23 guys, and just happened
      to hit a quiet night a few days after they'd just had a busy night on
      Monday (UM-Washington NCAA football championship game). We
pulled together
      a bunch of smaller tables in the middle of their main room, and it worked
      out great. But when inquiring with them about gathering there in the
      future, they couldn't promise that it would ever be that quiet
again unless
      we booked their backroom, which we'd have to do through their Catering
      Dept, which would cost us about $150 or so (I think that was the number).
      - Mon. Feb. 4 - we met at Jolly Pumpkin in downtown A2 (again, 23
      people) in their backroom. We didn't have one big table, but were
      instead spread out between 6 smaller tables. Not ideal (in my
opinion), but
      at least we had the place to ourselves and could still easily talk to
      others and move around from table to table without too much trouble.
      - Mon. March 4 - Pete arranged for us to get the big side room at
      Conor O'Neills. I think we had about 15 people. It was a great spot, so
      before we left, I chatted with the staff about meeting there every month.
      They said that they couldn't guarantee that room would always be
available
      (unless, again, we reserved it for a fee), but they could always
put us in
      the backroom as a fall back. So...
      - Mon. April 1 - We went back to Conor O'Neills, but this time they
      put us in the backroom, in several smaller tables.(15 guys).  And there
      were others not in our group also sharing the same room. That made it
      harder to mingle and move around from table to table. An even bigger
      problem, I thought, was that we had to go through a waitress whenever
      anyone wanted a beer. So a guy shows up late. Grabs an empty
seat with some
      other guys, and then has to wait to catch a busy waitress, and
then has to
      wait for her to bring back his beer. And then, when the individual bills
      come out, the waitress has to try to track down the guy that used to be
      sitting there, but since then has moved over to another table to
chat with
      some other guys. Not ideal, but maybe they just weren't ready for us...
      So...
      - Tues. May 14 - Back to Conor O'Neills, again in the backroom. About
      14 guys there. I recall that the room was less crowded with others not in
      our group. And the waitress seemed to have less trouble with our orders.
      (But I joined late that night, so perhaps I don't have the full story.)
      - Tues. June 4 - With the warmer weather, we moved to an outdoor
      venue: HOMES Brewery, their Campus location west of town on
Jackson Plaza.
      Lots of room to move around there, but not a place we could
reserve, unless
      we wanted to pay to rent their indoor room. About 15 guys attended. We
      spread out between 2 adjacent picnic tables. I liked the location because
      guys could go up to the bar and get their own beer without going
through a
      waitress. And there's always a food truck there for guys who want to eat.
      But we just happened to get a not-too-busy night. Not sure what we'd have
      done if it were busy, or raining.
   - That's all the data I have. This summer, between my wife's breast
   cancer treatments, my daughter's wedding, out-of-town company, and our time
   up at our cabin, I dropped the ball on a July gathering. I'm hoping to get
   something organized for August, but nothing's been scheduled yet. If I were
   going to do it, it would have to be the 2nd half of the month.

What I think we need:

   - 1 or 2 locations that we can stick with, IF we can find 1-2 that have
   what we need. In my opinion, the ideal spot would meet these criteria:
      - A place we can reserve for free so we know we'll have a place to
      accommodate 20-25 guys. (Mondays thru Thursdays, not the weekend)
      - Indoor or outdoor options, depending on the weather
      - Someplace that isn't too noisy. So you can actually carry on a
      pleasant conversation with those around you.
      - The ability for individual guys, coming and going throughout the
      evening, to go up to the bar and get their own drinks without
going through
      a waitress
      - A food option for those who want to eat, even if it is a food truck
      or adjacent business
      - (BTW, I'm not really a beer guy, so the only time I go out for a
      drink is during these monthly gatherings. That means that I don't really
      "know" the local beer scene. When I was trying to find a location back in
      January, I called around to Wolverine, HOMES, Conor O'Neills, Jolly
      Pumpkin, Grizzly Peak, Mothfire, Session Room, Fraser's Pub, and
Union Rec.
      There are probably others. Each one seemed to have some issue,
usually with
      my request for a free reservation and individual checks. But I
also got the
      sense that things change seasonally, and a place that wouldn't
work in the
      winter might work fine in the summer. I just haven't followed up with all
      of them...)
   - Guys (at least the ones who show up!) seem to be OK with a changing
   schedule, and different nights of the week. It doesn't even need to be
   scheduled far in advance, as I doubt if anyone is trying to fit their
   schedule around these outings. I don't know how most guys hear about it,
   because we publicize through the UU Men's email list, Facebook page, and
   via texts that I send out. But I do get a lot of text responses from guys,
   and I like that it pops up on their phones so they're apt to see it. I'm
   happy to continue sending out those texts, unless there is a better way to
   do it.

How the Men's Council could help:

   - If anyone can do the research into all the various location options
   and find us a good 1-2 spots (maybe an indoor one and an outdoor one,
   depending on the season, or a Monday spot, a Tuesday spot, a Wednesday
   spot, and a Thursday spot [because different places have different karaoke
   nights, or trivia nights that we'd want to avoid] - that would be helpful.
   - And I suppose if neither Pete nor I are available to host a gathering,
   we should have someone else - from the Men's Council? - that we could hand
   it off to for that month.
   - Other than that, I can't really think of anything, other than getting
   it into the bulletin IF we get it organized early enough!
   - And speaking of getting it organized early, I could host a gathering
   any evening the week of August 19th, once we decide where to do it.

Pete, any other thoughts?

Dave

On Sun, Jul 28, 2024 at 2:30 PM Bob Dinan <bdinan83 at gmail.com> wrote:

> Hi Dave and Pete,
>
> First, a big thank you for organizing the monthly "men's night out"
> events. I attended one (maybe two?) earlier this year. It was well-attended
> and a wonderful time all around.
>
> Second, the men's council is meeting tomorrow night, our regular
> bi-monthly meeting. I was wondering if you could supply info about past and
> upcoming "nights out": What has average attendance been like? Which venues
> have been the most successful (however you might define that)? What are the
> plans going forward? (When are you planning on having the next "night"?)
> Any other insights?
>
> And how can we support your effort? Is there anything the men's council
> can do to keep these nights going? Anything we can do to "lighten your
> load"?
>
> Thanks again for all you do to strengthen our fellowship.
>
> Bob
>
> --
> *bob dinan | bdinan83 at gmail.com <bdinan83 at gmail.com> | **734.674.7452*
>


-- 
*bob dinan | bdinan83 at gmail.com <bdinan83 at gmail.com> | **734.674.7452*
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