[menscouncil] Fwd: Men's Night Out

[Tom Reischl]

Hi Dave & Pete:

The UUAA Men's Council met last night and had the chance to talk about how
to support the periodic "Men's Night Out" gatherings. Thanks, Dave, for the
thorough report of the post-Covid restart of this activity.

Much of our discussion focused on the issue Dave raised about finding a
good venue for this activity, especially finding a place that was not too
noisy so participants can easily engage in conversations with each other.  *In
the end, the Men's Council approved an appropriation of $500 to be used for
renting private rooms at venues that work well for this activity.*  We
talked about this allocation as a "pilot program" to see how well it
worked.  We thought the money would be used when an outdoor space would be
unavailable because of the weather.  Also, the Men's Council wanted to be
clear that the money should be used for space rental only.  We agreed that
the money should not be used to pay for food or beverages.

Reimbursement will require completing a written request at the UUAA office
and a receipt for the room rental expense.

Finally, I agreed to provide communication support to the Men's Night Out
organizers for the Men's Council.  I hope to attend most of the events, but
you (or others involved) should feel free to be in touch with me about any
questions or concerns.

Thanks for your efforts!!

Tom Reischl

On Mon, Jul 29, 2024 at 2:54 PM Bob Dinan <bdinan83 at gmail.com> wrote:

> If you have a minute before the meeting tonight, please skim Dave
> Borneman's excellent summary of what's taken place with the "Men's Night
> Outs" this year.
>
> He's indicated some ways that we, as the Men's Council, could support
> them. I'm hoping that we can embrace this request. I will include this in
> the agenda.
>
> See you at 7,
>
> Bob
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ---------
> From: David Borneman <burnguy1 at gmail.com>
> Date: Mon, Jul 29, 2024 at 1:08 PM
> Subject: Re: Men's Night Out
> To: Bob Dinan <bdinan83 at gmail.com>
> Cc: Peter Mooney <pmooney at sfplaw.com>
>
>
> Bob - Well, here's what I can tell you:
>
>    - I restarted the "Men's Night Outs" back in January, on a whim, when
>    I was feeling a need to reconnect with the guys and thought that would be
>    an easy way to do it. Apparently a bunch of other guys felt that way too
>    and we've had good turnout every time we've done it, with numbers ranging
>    from (approximately) 14-23.
>    - Pete was good enough to step up right away and offer to help
>    organize the gatherings. That was a big help because I knew I'd have a hard
>    time committing to a date during my spring burn season in March, April, and
>    May, so Pete took the lead on those.
>    - We've jumped around from location to location, and from night to
>    night, trying different combinations. I'm not sure if that is desirable or
>    not. Inevitably, whatever day of the week we choose will be a perennial
>    conflict for some particular group of guys who have standing conflicts with
>    those nights. So personally I like the idea of changing up the night so
>    everybody can get there at least SOME of the time.
>    - I'd prefer to find one location that we can always use, just so guys
>    are less likely to get confused on that aspect of it. But finding that one
>    perfect spot has been difficult. A few reflections on that:
>       - Wed. Jan. 10 - we met at Wolverine with 23 guys, and just
>       happened to hit a quiet night a few days after they'd just had a busy night
>       on Monday (UM-Washington NCAA football championship game). We pulled
>       together a bunch of smaller tables in the middle of their main room, and it
>       worked out great. But when inquiring with them about gathering there in the
>       future, they couldn't promise that it would ever be that quiet again unless
>       we booked their backroom, which we'd have to do through their Catering
>       Dept, which would cost us about $150 or so (I think that was the number).
>       - Mon. Feb. 4 - we met at Jolly Pumpkin in downtown A2 (again, 23
>       people) in their backroom. We didn't have one big table, but were
>       instead spread out between 6 smaller tables. Not ideal (in my opinion), but
>       at least we had the place to ourselves and could still easily talk to
>       others and move around from table to table without too much trouble.
>       - Mon. March 4 - Pete arranged for us to get the big side room at
>       Conor O'Neills. I think we had about 15 people. It was a great spot, so
>       before we left, I chatted with the staff about meeting there every month.
>       They said that they couldn't guarantee that room would always be available
>       (unless, again, we reserved it for a fee), but they could always put us in
>       the backroom as a fall back. So...
>       - Mon. April 1 - We went back to Conor O'Neills, but this time they
>       put us in the backroom, in several smaller tables.(15 guys).  And there
>       were others not in our group also sharing the same room. That made it
>       harder to mingle and move around from table to table. An even bigger
>       problem, I thought, was that we had to go through a waitress whenever
>       anyone wanted a beer. So a guy shows up late. Grabs an empty seat with some
>       other guys, and then has to wait to catch a busy waitress, and then has to
>       wait for her to bring back his beer. And then, when the individual bills
>       come out, the waitress has to try to track down the guy that used to be
>       sitting there, but since then has moved over to another table to chat with
>       some other guys. Not ideal, but maybe they just weren't ready for us...
>       So...
>       - Tues. May 14 - Back to Conor O'Neills, again in the backroom.
>       About 14 guys there. I recall that the room was less crowded with others
>       not in our group. And the waitress seemed to have less trouble with our
>       orders. (But I joined late that night, so perhaps I don't have the full
>       story.)
>       - Tues. June 4 - With the warmer weather, we moved to an outdoor
>       venue: HOMES Brewery, their Campus location west of town on Jackson Plaza.
>       Lots of room to move around there, but not a place we could reserve, unless
>       we wanted to pay to rent their indoor room. About 15 guys attended. We
>       spread out between 2 adjacent picnic tables. I liked the location because
>       guys could go up to the bar and get their own beer without going through a
>       waitress. And there's always a food truck there for guys who want to eat.
>       But we just happened to get a not-too-busy night. Not sure what we'd have
>       done if it were busy, or raining.
>    - That's all the data I have. This summer, between my wife's breast
>    cancer treatments, my daughter's wedding, out-of-town company, and our time
>    up at our cabin, I dropped the ball on a July gathering. I'm hoping to get
>    something organized for August, but nothing's been scheduled yet. If I were
>    going to do it, it would have to be the 2nd half of the month.
>
> What I think we need:
>
>    - 1 or 2 locations that we can stick with, IF we can find 1-2 that
>    have what we need. In my opinion, the ideal spot would meet these criteria:
>       - A place we can reserve for free so we know we'll have a place to
>       accommodate 20-25 guys. (Mondays thru Thursdays, not the weekend)
>       - Indoor or outdoor options, depending on the weather
>       - Someplace that isn't too noisy. So you can actually carry on a
>       pleasant conversation with those around you.
>       - The ability for individual guys, coming and going throughout the
>       evening, to go up to the bar and get their own drinks without going through
>       a waitress
>       - A food option for those who want to eat, even if it is a food
>       truck or adjacent business
>       - (BTW, I'm not really a beer guy, so the only time I go out for a
>       drink is during these monthly gatherings. That means that I don't really
>       "know" the local beer scene. When I was trying to find a location back in
>       January, I called around to Wolverine, HOMES, Conor O'Neills, Jolly
>       Pumpkin, Grizzly Peak, Mothfire, Session Room, Fraser's Pub, and Union Rec.
>       There are probably others. Each one seemed to have some issue, usually with
>       my request for a free reservation and individual checks. But I also got the
>       sense that things change seasonally, and a place that wouldn't work in the
>       winter might work fine in the summer. I just haven't followed up with all
>       of them...)
>    - Guys (at least the ones who show up!) seem to be OK with a changing
>    schedule, and different nights of the week. It doesn't even need to be
>    scheduled far in advance, as I doubt if anyone is trying to fit their
>    schedule around these outings. I don't know how most guys hear about it,
>    because we publicize through the UU Men's email list, Facebook page, and
>    via texts that I send out. But I do get a lot of text responses from guys,
>    and I like that it pops up on their phones so they're apt to see it. I'm
>    happy to continue sending out those texts, unless there is a better way to
>    do it.
>
> How the Men's Council could help:
>
>    - If anyone can do the research into all the various location options
>    and find us a good 1-2 spots (maybe an indoor one and an outdoor one,
>    depending on the season, or a Monday spot, a Tuesday spot, a Wednesday
>    spot, and a Thursday spot [because different places have different karaoke
>    nights, or trivia nights that we'd want to avoid] - that would be helpful.
>    - And I suppose if neither Pete nor I are available to host a
>    gathering, we should have someone else - from the Men's Council? - that we
>    could hand it off to for that month.
>    - Other than that, I can't really think of anything, other than
>    getting it into the bulletin IF we get it organized early enough!
>    - And speaking of getting it organized early, I could host a gathering
>    any evening the week of August 19th, once we decide where to do it.
>
> Pete, any other thoughts?
>
> Dave
>
> On Sun, Jul 28, 2024 at 2:30 PM Bob Dinan <bdinan83 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
>> Hi Dave and Pete,
>>
>> First, a big thank you for organizing the monthly "men's night out"
>> events. I attended one (maybe two?) earlier this year. It was well-attended
>> and a wonderful time all around.
>>
>> Second, the men's council is meeting tomorrow night, our regular
>> bi-monthly meeting. I was wondering if you could supply info about past and
>> upcoming "nights out": What has average attendance been like? Which venues
>> have been the most successful (however you might define that)? What are the
>> plans going forward? (When are you planning on having the next "night"?)
>> Any other insights?
>>
>> And how can we support your effort? Is there anything the men's council
>> can do to keep these nights going? Anything we can do to "lighten your
>> load"?
>>
>> Thanks again for all you do to strengthen our fellowship.
>>
>> Bob
>>
>> --
>> *bob dinan | bdinan83 at gmail.com <bdinan83 at gmail.com> | **734.674.7452*
>>
>
>
> --
> *bob dinan | bdinan83 at gmail.com <bdinan83 at gmail.com> | **734.674.7452*
> --
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